What Is The Soul?

Dear Community,

As I have been diving head first into what I call my soul's work, a  few legit questions are coming up.

1. What is the soul?

2. Does everyone have a soul?

3. Do souls talk to each other?

4. What constitutes souls's work?

5. How do you know it is your soul's work vs. inflation of the ego?

6. What is inflation of the ego?

These questions are not abstract for me, they're coming up because I'm in the middle of something,  building what I can only call my soul's work- and I keep realizing that I am using words and concepts that I do not have a clear definition for. 

1. What is the soul?

I did what any responsible person does when they need a definition, I went to Merriam-Webster Dictionary and here's what I found: 1. the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life 2. the spiritual principle embodied in human beings, all rational and spiritual beings, or the universe 3. a person's total self 4. the moral and emotional nature of human beings 5. strong positive feeling conveyed especially by African American performers — cultural consciousness and pride among people of African heritage

So that makes things clear! Hahahaha.

What's interesting isn't any single definition, it's that they don't agree amongst themselves!  In other words, the soul is simultaneously your essence, your whole self, your moral nature, a cultural force, and God. The word is carrying centuries of arguments inside of  it, and NO ONE HAS SETTLED THE QUESTION.

Which means I get to try. WHY NOT? (And the invitation is: if I get to try, anyone gets to try. Please give it your best shot, enter the conversation. I believe this is the work of our century: not survival, but deeper dives into what it means to be human, to have a soul and what does doing your soul's work mean). 

Here's the truth: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SOUL IS. 

However,  I  do know something for sure: I know the feeling of acting from it versus performing for approval (ego performance).

AND! I recognize that this a false binary. It's working on the assumption that every human action is either pure soul or ego performance — which is both philosophically weak and kinda self-congratulatory. I recognize that it implies I've transcended the work of being human,  which no one who is still in human form has.

And of course, most action is mixed:  I can be doing genuine soul's work and still want recognition for it. I can be performing for approval and accidentally stumble into something true- it seems like the ego and the soul aren't always opponents — sometimes they're tangled together in ways that are really  hard to separate.

Now, that I have tied myself into a knot here, let me continue:

When I'm in soul's work, something is quieter and more certain at the same time, and there's no audience I'm playing to.  When I'm in ego, there's a constant checking, adjusting, wondering how it will be perceived.

And as I write this, I realize that I am mostly out of soul and into my ego, making sure I am covering all the basics, and that no one can contradict me and that I am so self aware and so awake that no human will find fault to what I am writing!

I am getting so tired. AND that, right here is a RED FLAG that I am not in my soul. Second clue: when the energy is dipping, and the humans is getting fatigued, the soul is not happy.

Ok, so I don't have any answers. Did I say this already? 

Here's the working definition that I am setting for, as provisional and honest as they get: The soul is whatever is operating in me when the work feels sustainable, generative, and true — when I'm not performing it for anyone, including myself. I don't think this is theologically rigorous and I don't know if it holds up under scrutiny. But it's where I actually am, and I'd rather start from here than pretend I have more clarity than I do.

That's what this newsletter is about, in case you haven't figured it out yet: not answers, but the process of finding them. I did my best to answer the first question today. I will keep thinking and talking and seeking and hopefully, I will get to dissect the second question in the newsletter that's coming out next week.

 With love, (a tiny sprinkle of) rage, and reverence,

Your disorganized, recovering people-pleaser, community-dreamer, hope-filled activist in the making, deep-sleeper, clean compliment giver and receiver, not-a-true-exhibitionist, 21-day resetter, recovering prostitute, courageous by practice, trusting by skill, always with my head in the clouds, but loving my feet on the ground, soul worker (!)

Corina